I am no seasoned pro at cycling, but I’m a long way from a novice. I’ve ridden a century in the not too distant past so you’d think I’d know better than to do what I did today. But I’m also human and therefore reserve my right to a certain degree of stupidity.
I will preface this by saying that cycling is a wonderful sport. This post is not to discourage anyone from riding. In fact, it’s meant to humorously help others avoid mistakes that can make being on the bike a miserable experience.
I hope you get my humor and sarcasm because this blog post is dripping with it. If not just pass this by but heed the warnings.
Here’s what happened.
I woke up feeling not so motivated to ride. So I thought I’d wait a bit. Besides, I had lots of adulting to do.
When I finally decided it was time to spin my legs the clock said it was noon. I’d been sitting in front of my computer for hours and felt a bit stir crazy. But first, I needed lunch. So down the hatch went a few tacos… The rest of the story I’ll leave to your imagination, provided with a few bullet points to help you out along the way.
Have a laugh on me!
How Not to Have a Great Bike Ride in Four Stupidly Simple Steps.
- Do go for your ride at the hottest and windiest point of the day… If you’re in my neck of the woods, Northern California, anytime between the hours of 1-3 pm is perfect! Oh and make sure you are in a time crunch.
- Do ride right after eating three pork tacos with the works and extra spicy sauce. Yup tastes even better on the way up… JUST KIDDING!.
- Don’t bring a spare water bottle… ya know why would you? It’s not like you’d spill or anything right… YUP I DID.
- Finally make sure to ride with you’re jersey unzipped a little. It will provide the bees’ direct access to the girls. This will give any passerby a great showing of your navigation and stopping skills. YES THIS HAPPENED. Last week and today.I’m super lucky. BAHAHAHA.
There you have it! A recipe for a not so great day on the bike. But honestly if you’re like me, even a miserable ride is a good one! Still, don’t do any of the above… please. But, if you do… Drop me a line about it and let me know just how super fun it was! I love to commiserate!
Happy Cycling My Friends!